The rate of domestic violence reported (as thousands would go unreported) since the beginning of the year is so alarming, every day we wake up hearing such terrifying headlines as this:
- Woman Battered and Inflicted with a deep cut by her husband in Lagos.
- Man stabbed to death by his wife just after their wedding.
- Six months pregnant woman brutally battered by husband.
- Man stabs wife to death one month after their court wedding.
These are heartbreaking stories, clearly domestic violence and abuse is on rise, as a matter of fact, nearly three in ten women have experienced physical violence since age 15, one in four married women experienced physical, sexual, emotional abuse by their husband of partner.
It is time to stand up against this mess, it’s time for us to fight against it, and it is time to speak up, don’t die in silence. A lot of women have chosen to stay in a violent relationship or marriage and some end up losing their lives, leaving their children to suffer.
It is better to avoid an abusive relationship, rather than going into and looking for a way out later, most people who find themselves in it are scared to leave, they think their partner will change. The truth is you can’t change the person except the person wants to change, the best you can do for them is to pray for them and let God do the changing.
There are some signs of an abusive man that you should not ignore, and yes this sign is also applicable to women as well so men pay attention.
- He is too controlling: He wants to control every part of your life, where you go, what you eat, the clothes you wear, and the friends you should hang out with, he will always check your cell phone, check your chats to know whom you are communicating with, just last week I read about a man who stabbed his wife to death over a text message he saw on her phone. It’s good for a man to be in control but let it not be overbearing, hereby preventing your partner from having a life outside the relationship.
- He is Overly Jealous: The truth is if you really love someone you will be a jealous lover, true love protects, shields, no one wants to lose what he or she cherishes, even God is a jealous God. Now when being jealous is too much it becomes dangerous because it will lead to distrust, if he sees you talking or receiving calls from the opposite sex he complains, he says you are cheating on him, gradually unnecessary arguments will come up which is not healthy for the relationship.
- He wants to isolate you: He just wants you to himself, he doesn’t want you to have friends or even spend time with them, and he tries to isolate you from the rest of the world.
- He Blames you all the time: He is always playing the victim, even when he does something wrong, he blames you for his actions, even for being abusive, never sees any wrong in his actions and never buys your opinion or ideas about things. Your success scares him, he doesn’t want you to be more successful or richer than him, and he feels intimidated.
- He has a bad temper: We all get upset sometimes, it’s okay, the most important thing is for you to be able to control your anger and not hurt anyone, even with words too. Whenever you have disagreements with your man and he starts punching walls, breaking plates, television, breaking bottles, yelling insults at you, my darling it’s time to leave that relationship, it’s not a healthy one. Before you know it he will start slapping your pretty face and punching it, and then he will bribe you with gifts or even take you for shopping and crocodile tears, “Baby I am so sorry, you know I wasn’t in my right senses” that’s the normal lyrics. If sweetheart can’t express his feelings without throwing things then something is wrong (and it’s not with you).
If you have noticed this signs in your relationship then it’s time to pack your bags, it’s time to walk away from that relationship, if you are married it is advised that you move out of the house to a place where you will be safe, till the situation gets better, protect your life because it is priority.