Before You Buy That Ring by Laurie Idahosa

BEFORE YOU BUY THAT RING BY LAURIE IDAHOSA

Who can find a virtuous and capable
wife? She is more precious than
rubies.
Proverbs 31:10.
Warning: Some of the thoughts that I
share in this blog are not politically
correct for the year 2015. They are
however Biblical principles… The Bible
trumps politics and man’s opinion any
time any day!
Guys, before you get too serious about
that lady, I suggest that you do a little
check-list. You need to ask yourself
does she possess the qualities and
characteristics that the Bible defines
as “virtuous.” Guaranteed, if she does
(or she’s working on it), she’s worth
holding on to! In fact, Proverbs 31:12
says that if she’s this kind of a lady,
she will do you good and not evil all
the days of her life.
In today’s world, people have things so
twisted. Ladies are looking for men
with the fattest wallets and the finest
cars and men are settling for
materialistic ladies who have nothing
but shallow, external attributes
working for them.
The authority and absolute truth from
the Word of God is the tool to set us
straight. We want our marriages to
work, but, many times don’t put the
necessary work into ourselves or into
that person we are looking for in order
to make that happen. We need to
study what scripture says about these
things and make corrections where
necessary.
I briefly talked about this topic last
week when I was a guest on a radio
program. In case you didn’t get to
tune in or take notes, I decided to use
my blog to help expand the thoughts
for you.
Here’s a guide from Proverbs 31 for
the kind of qualities you should look
for in a lady before you marry her. It’s
also a good self-evaluation checklist
for us ladies, too. If there are areas we
need to improve upon, there’s no
better time to start than the present.
Ten things a man should for look for in a
lady:
1. Trustworthiness
Ask yourself… Can you tell her your
secrets? Is she a vault or a vessel
when it comes to private matters?
Does she gossip about others and tell
you the secrets of other people? If she
does, then she will probably tell yours
to other people as well. A woman
should be trustworthy with secrets,
money matters, and life in general.
Proverbs 31:11 Her husband can trust
her and she will greatly enrich his life.
Proverbs 31:27 She carefully watched
everything in her household and
suffers nothing from laziness.
2. An asset and a helper for you
Ask yourself…does she add to your
life or take away from your life? God
doesn’t want you struggling and
suffocating in debt just so that you can
give into the whims of your wife. She
needs to have good intentions towards
you and your finances. I also believe
that a woman should, as I like to call
it, “bring something to the table.” She
shouldn’t come to the marriage empty
handed. While she was single, what
did she accomplish that will add value
to your life together? Her education,
business acumen, investments and
assorted accomplishments are all great
assets that can make your marriage
richer. Avoid being intimidated by an
accomplished woman.
When you share your dreams with her,
does she look for ways to make the
dreams come to pass? Does she help
you to accomplish your goals, no
matter how big or small they are? You
need a woman who believes in you
and who will give as much as she can
to ensure that you are successful.
Proverbs 31:18 She makes sure her
dealings are profitable and her lamp
burns late into the night.
Proverbs 31:28 Her children stand and
bless her; her husband praises her.
3. A good manager of her time
Ask yourself… How well does she
manage her time? How efficient is
she? You need a woman who can plan
her day and make necessary sacrifices
in order to stick to that plan. Does she
work from a “to do” list? Is she
organised and systematic? In order to
properly manage a home, a marriage,
children, a job and other
responsibilities, she must be a good
time manager.
If she is always late and making
excuses, it is and indicator that she
will be late and full of excuses in your
marriage.
Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before
dawn to prepare breakfast for her
household and plan the day’s work for
her servant girls.
4. Industrious / Hard Working
Ask yourself… Is she diligent, hard
working and productive? What does
she do with her time? What are the
things that are important to her?
When she is given a responsibility,
does she carry it all the way through
to completion? Does she self-manage
and take initiative? How well does she
manage investments and business?
A virtuous woman doesn’t sit back and
expect the man to do all the work.
According to Proverbs 31, she is a
business woman, a trader, a
seamstress, a farmer, a real estate
investor, a planner, an import,
exporter and so much more!
You may wish to read one of my earlier
blogs, “Work Works” to shed more light
on this subject.
Proverbs 31:13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
Proverbs 31:14 She is like the
merchants’ ship, bringing her food
from afar.
Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before
dawn to prepare breakfast for her
household and plan the day’s work for
her servant girls.
Proverbs 31:16 She goes to inspect a
field, and buys it: with her earnings,
she plants a vineyard.
5. A homemaker
Ask yourself… How well does she
manage her domestic responsibilities?
Does she cook? Does she keep her
personal environment tidy? Does she
plan ahead and pre-solve future
challenges? Is she reactionary or
proactive? These are important
elements to look for in a future wife.
The home is not purely the woman’s
responsibility, it is a shared duty.
Culturally, however, it is the woman
who needs to ensure that the home is
a pleasant place of respite and that the
children are adequately catered for.
Proverbs 31:21 She has no fear of
winter for her household: for everyone
has warm clothes.
6. Encourages your success
Ask yourself… Can she handle my
success? When my achievements are
celebrated, will she be by my side,
cheering me on? Intrinsically, men
need to know that they are respected
by their wives. You need to know that
she’s always got your back and that
you depend on her to be your biggest
fan.
Many ladies are intimidated by their
husband’s achievements and find
themselves in fierce competition with
him. Finding a woman who supports
your dreams instead of one who
competes with them makes for a
peaceful and fruitful home.
Proverbs 31: 23 Her husband is well
known in the city gates, where he sits
with the other civic leaders.
7. Generous, warm and hospitable
Ask yourself… Will she create the kind
of home environment where I would
like to bring my friends and family? Is
she friendly? Does she smile genuinely
and with ease? Is she caring, warm
and hospitable?
Also ask yourself… How does she treat
the less privileged? Does she look
down on them or lift them up? Is she
generous toward those in need?
A woman who is virtuous will make
your friends and family feel at ease
when they visit.
She will treat the poor with concern
and care and find ways to alleviate
their suffering. If she is a giver, you
will find that there will never be lack
in your home. If she is stingy and self-
centered, you’ll find that no matter
what you do, it will never be enough.
Proverbs 31:20 She extends a helping
hand to the poor and opens her hands
to the needy.
Proverbs 31:26 When she speaks, her
words are wise and she gives
instructions with kindness.
8. Physically attractive
Ask yourself… When I look at her, do I
smile? Does she have the physical
attributes that excite me? Truthfully,
internal beauty is more significant in
God’s eyes than external beauty;
however, external beauty matters to
man. Does she take good care of
herself? Is she clean? Does she eat
healthy? Does she exercise regularly?
Is she well groomed? Does she have a
palatable sense of style? Does she
present herself in a manner that
makes you proud to introduce her to
others? Trust me, these things matter.
A virtuous woman knows how to dress
appropriately. She doesn’t seduce men
with her attire. She covers herself yet
remains attractive and stimulating to
the eyes.
Physical attributes change everyday,
but our attitude towards our external
appearance can help make even the
most difficult changes stepping stones
to more beauty.
Proverbs 31:22 She makes her own
bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen
and purple gowns.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive and
beauty does not last, but a woman who
fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
9. Prayerful, spiritually sensitive
Ask yourself… When she is faced with
life’s challenges, how does she
respond? Does she crumble in a
puddle of tears or does she rise and
conquer?
Finding a woman who is loyal to God
and who knows how to pray is like
finding gold. If she is sensitive to the
Lord, she will have developed the
essential skills to be sensitive to you.
She will also be better equipped to
yield to your lead if she is accustomed
to yielding to the leadership of the
Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before
dawn…
10. Maternal attributes
Ask yourself… Will she be a good
mother to our future children? Is she
tender hearted towards children? Do
children naturally gravitate toward
her or do they avoid her?
Children cannot be tricked easily. They
can see when they are loved with
sincerity and cared for. They can also
sense when something isn’t
straightforward. Watch her around
children. How she treats the ones
around her now is just a foretaste of
what you can expect in your marital
home.
Perhaps you already have children
from another relationship or junior
siblings that you are caring for. If she
is going to step immediately into a
maternal role, it is important that she
love and respect your children,
genuinely from the heart.
Proverbs 31: 28 Her children stand
and bless her; Her husband praises
her.
These ten things that a man should
look for in a lady according to
Proverbs 31 are by no means an
exhaustive list, but they are a starting
point. You can look through the Word
of God and allow it it guide you as you
make your choice towards marriage.
There is something very important
that I must say, as I close. If you are
in search of the perfect woman, you
will be searching for your entire life.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 5 :25,
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ
loves the church.”
If we look at the church, we will see
many flaws, many inconsistencies.
This is why you have been armed with
love and the Word of God to help
bring her more and more into the
image that befits her. If a woman is
humble and teachable, you have a
great starting point.BEFORE YOU BUY THAT RING BY LAURIE IDAHOSA

Who can find a virtuous and capable
wife? She is more precious than
rubies.
Proverbs 31:10.
Warning: Some of the thoughts that I
share in this blog are not politically
correct for the year 2015. They are
however Biblical principles… The Bible
trumps politics and man’s opinion any
time any day!
Guys, before you get too serious about
that lady, I suggest that you do a little
check-list. You need to ask yourself
does she possess the qualities and
characteristics that the Bible defines
as “virtuous.” Guaranteed, if she does
(or she’s working on it), she’s worth
holding on to! In fact, Proverbs 31:12
says that if she’s this kind of a lady,
she will do you good and not evil all
the days of her life.
In today’s world, people have things so
twisted. Ladies are looking for men
with the fattest wallets and the finest
cars and men are settling for
materialistic ladies who have nothing
but shallow, external attributes
working for them.
The authority and absolute truth from
the Word of God is the tool to set us
straight. We want our marriages to
work, but, many times don’t put the
necessary work into ourselves or into
that person we are looking for in order
to make that happen. We need to
study what scripture says about these
things and make corrections where
necessary.
I briefly talked about this topic last
week when I was a guest on a radio
program. In case you didn’t get to
tune in or take notes, I decided to use
my blog to help expand the thoughts
for you.
Here’s a guide from Proverbs 31 for
the kind of qualities you should look
for in a lady before you marry her. It’s
also a good self-evaluation checklist
for us ladies, too. If there are areas we
need to improve upon, there’s no
better time to start than the present.
Ten things a man should for look for in a
lady:
1. Trustworthiness
Ask yourself… Can you tell her your
secrets? Is she a vault or a vessel
when it comes to private matters?
Does she gossip about others and tell
you the secrets of other people? If she
does, then she will probably tell yours
to other people as well. A woman
should be trustworthy with secrets,
money matters, and life in general.
Proverbs 31:11 Her husband can trust
her and she will greatly enrich his life.
Proverbs 31:27 She carefully watched
everything in her household and
suffers nothing from laziness.
2. An asset and a helper for you
Ask yourself…does she add to your
life or take away from your life? God
doesn’t want you struggling and
suffocating in debt just so that you can
give into the whims of your wife. She
needs to have good intentions towards
you and your finances. I also believe
that a woman should, as I like to call
it, “bring something to the table.” She
shouldn’t come to the marriage empty
handed. While she was single, what
did she accomplish that will add value
to your life together? Her education,
business acumen, investments and
assorted accomplishments are all great
assets that can make your marriage
richer. Avoid being intimidated by an
accomplished woman.
When you share your dreams with her,
does she look for ways to make the
dreams come to pass? Does she help
you to accomplish your goals, no
matter how big or small they are? You
need a woman who believes in you
and who will give as much as she can
to ensure that you are successful.
Proverbs 31:18 She makes sure her
dealings are profitable and her lamp
burns late into the night.
Proverbs 31:28 Her children stand and
bless her; her husband praises her.
3. A good manager of her time
Ask yourself… How well does she
manage her time? How efficient is
she? You need a woman who can plan
her day and make necessary sacrifices
in order to stick to that plan. Does she
work from a “to do” list? Is she
organised and systematic? In order to
properly manage a home, a marriage,
children, a job and other
responsibilities, she must be a good
time manager.
If she is always late and making
excuses, it is and indicator that she
will be late and full of excuses in your
marriage.
Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before
dawn to prepare breakfast for her
household and plan the day’s work for
her servant girls.
4. Industrious / Hard Working
Ask yourself… Is she diligent, hard
working and productive? What does
she do with her time? What are the
things that are important to her?
When she is given a responsibility,
does she carry it all the way through
to completion? Does she self-manage
and take initiative? How well does she
manage investments and business?
A virtuous woman doesn’t sit back and
expect the man to do all the work.
According to Proverbs 31, she is a
business woman, a trader, a
seamstress, a farmer, a real estate
investor, a planner, an import,
exporter and so much more!
You may wish to read one of my earlier
blogs, “Work Works” to shed more light
on this subject.
Proverbs 31:13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
Proverbs 31:14 She is like the
merchants’ ship, bringing her food
from afar.
Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before
dawn to prepare breakfast for her
household and plan the day’s work for
her servant girls.
Proverbs 31:16 She goes to inspect a
field, and buys it: with her earnings,
she plants a vineyard.
5. A homemaker
Ask yourself… How well does she
manage her domestic responsibilities?
Does she cook? Does she keep her
personal environment tidy? Does she
plan ahead and pre-solve future
challenges? Is she reactionary or
proactive? These are important
elements to look for in a future wife.
The home is not purely the woman’s
responsibility, it is a shared duty.
Culturally, however, it is the woman
who needs to ensure that the home is
a pleasant place of respite and that the
children are adequately catered for.
Proverbs 31:21 She has no fear of
winter for her household: for everyone
has warm clothes.
6. Encourages your success
Ask yourself… Can she handle my
success? When my achievements are
celebrated, will she be by my side,
cheering me on? Intrinsically, men
need to know that they are respected
by their wives. You need to know that
she’s always got your back and that
you depend on her to be your biggest
fan.
Many ladies are intimidated by their
husband’s achievements and find
themselves in fierce competition with
him. Finding a woman who supports
your dreams instead of one who
competes with them makes for a
peaceful and fruitful home.
Proverbs 31: 23 Her husband is well
known in the city gates, where he sits
with the other civic leaders.
7. Generous, warm and hospitable
Ask yourself… Will she create the kind
of home environment where I would
like to bring my friends and family? Is
she friendly? Does she smile genuinely
and with ease? Is she caring, warm
and hospitable?
Also ask yourself… How does she treat
the less privileged? Does she look
down on them or lift them up? Is she
generous toward those in need?
A woman who is virtuous will make
your friends and family feel at ease
when they visit.
She will treat the poor with concern
and care and find ways to alleviate
their suffering. If she is a giver, you
will find that there will never be lack
in your home. If she is stingy and self-
centered, you’ll find that no matter
what you do, it will never be enough.
Proverbs 31:20 She extends a helping
hand to the poor and opens her hands
to the needy.
Proverbs 31:26 When she speaks, her
words are wise and she gives
instructions with kindness.
8. Physically attractive
Ask yourself… When I look at her, do I
smile? Does she have the physical
attributes that excite me? Truthfully,
internal beauty is more significant in
God’s eyes than external beauty;
however, external beauty matters to
man. Does she take good care of
herself? Is she clean? Does she eat
healthy? Does she exercise regularly?
Is she well groomed? Does she have a
palatable sense of style? Does she
present herself in a manner that
makes you proud to introduce her to
others? Trust me, these things matter.
A virtuous woman knows how to dress
appropriately. She doesn’t seduce men
with her attire. She covers herself yet
remains attractive and stimulating to
the eyes.
Physical attributes change everyday,
but our attitude towards our external
appearance can help make even the
most difficult changes stepping stones
to more beauty.
Proverbs 31:22 She makes her own
bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen
and purple gowns.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive and
beauty does not last, but a woman who
fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
9. Prayerful, spiritually sensitive
Ask yourself… When she is faced with
life’s challenges, how does she
respond? Does she crumble in a
puddle of tears or does she rise and
conquer?
Finding a woman who is loyal to God
and who knows how to pray is like
finding gold. If she is sensitive to the
Lord, she will have developed the
essential skills to be sensitive to you.
She will also be better equipped to
yield to your lead if she is accustomed
to yielding to the leadership of the
Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before
dawn…
10. Maternal attributes
Ask yourself… Will she be a good
mother to our future children? Is she
tender hearted towards children? Do
children naturally gravitate toward
her or do they avoid her?
Children cannot be tricked easily. They
can see when they are loved with
sincerity and cared for. They can also
sense when something isn’t
straightforward. Watch her around
children. How she treats the ones
around her now is just a foretaste of
what you can expect in your marital
home.
Perhaps you already have children
from another relationship or junior
siblings that you are caring for. If she
is going to step immediately into a
maternal role, it is important that she
love and respect your children,
genuinely from the heart.
Proverbs 31: 28 Her children stand
and bless her; Her husband praises
her.
These ten things that a man should
look for in a lady according to
Proverbs 31 are by no means an
exhaustive list, but they are a starting
point. You can look through the Word
of God and allow it it guide you as you
make your choice towards marriage.
There is something very important
that I must say, as I close. If you are
in search of the perfect woman, you
will be searching for your entire life.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 5 :25,
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ
loves the church.”
If we look at the church, we will see
many flaws, many inconsistencies.
This is why you have been armed with
love and the Word of God to help
bring her more and more into the
image that befits her. If a woman is
humble and teachable, you have a
great starting point.

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